WHITEOUT: Above And Beyond (Beauty 0f Life Book 10) Page 6

Listing to the side, a dopey grin came to Dan’s face. “I can pay for us all. We can hop on a plane now and be there tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Yeah, right,” Ray scoffed, dismissing Dan’s claim.

  Loki scrunched his face. “How can you afford it? Heck, with medical leave, you were on a reduced income for months and well …”

  “Never spent much of my pay while in the field, and if I didn’t have that, I could always dip into my trust fund,” Dan shared, his inhibitions lowered by massive amounts of alcohol coupled with next to no sleep. Not the best combination to maintain control over one’s emotions or tongue.

  “You got a trust? How?” Loki blinked and sucked on the fat straw of his margarita.

  “My Grandfather Loving.”

  “A loving grandpa set one up? Must be nice.” Loki chuckled.

  “Not loving grandfather … well, yeah, guess he was, but his last name is Loving. My mom and her twin sister inherited his fortune, except for the trusts he set up for each grandkid.”

  “Loving? Any relation to Sir Alistair Loving?” Ray asked, intrigued by Dan’s openness.

  “Yep, my granddad.” Dan lifted his glass and slammed back the rest of the contents.

  “So … your mom is …” Ray started.

  Dan finished, “Lady Yvonne Loving, now Broderick. My dad’s family is loaded with old money too … never wanted any of it. Gotta make my own way.” Dan flagged down the waitress to order another beverage.

  “Wow! So how much moolah ya got?” Loki gaped at Dan.

  After ordering another round, Dan said, “Could live a life of luxury and never work another day.”

  “Wait … wait … so you can like, just walk into a dealership and buy another Ducati with cash?” Loki’s eyes rounded when Dan nodded.

  “Yeah, could buy you one too. What color do you want?” Dan grabbed Loki’s drink and finished it off. With the help of a liberal amount of tequila over the past three hours, he escaped all the negative emotions plaguing him, and Dan wanted his respite to linger, but the temporary pardon required the Jose Cuervo to continue flowing.

  Loki beamed. “Make mine red.”

  “Thought you might prefer purple,” Ray teased.

  “Ducati only comes in red!” Loki exclaimed.

  Ray chuckled, and their conversation meandered into the absurd, and at some point, when the topic became a one-upmanship of the weirdest thing to happen to them in the woods, Dan shared his purple people eater hallucination with his buddies. A little later, Loki bet Dan he couldn’t eat six saltine crackers in one minute. Dan’s failed attempt caused much laughter and attracted the attention of many females.

  Three women sauntered up to the high-top table, each targeting her favorite as they made a play from them. Loki blushed as a bold, gorgeous blonde sidled up to him, her hand landing on his butt and squeezing. Ray gently rebuffed the beauty who set her sights on him by telling her he was engaged.

  Not in the mood for female companionship, enjoying a guys’ night out, Dan had no qualms about telling a drunk brunette he was not interested when her arm snaked around his waist. In the process of disengaging from her, she surprised him as her hands clasped the back of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Sinner popped to the forefront for a moment, and he reacted by pulling her closer and returning the kiss.

  “Wow, what a coincidence … two nights in a row,” Duke hollered over the din as he and Lexa approached the table when he spied Dan.

  “What are you doing here?” Ray’s tone held some ire, his inhibitions down, and his dislike of Duke coming out a bit.

  The loud music pulsing a frantic beat covered Ray’s actual words, so Duke only nodded and shouted as he came to a stop, “Popular place, huh?”

  Lexa grimaced upon viewing Dan in a liplock with a woman. Being short and in a crowd, she failed to notice her teammates until she and Duke stopped. Her heart twisted. She possessed no claim on Dan, but it hurt like hell to find his lips on another woman.

  “Hey, Lexa!” Loki gleefully pulled her into a hug, wholly ignoring the blonde, whose face showed her displeasure at being abruptly dismissed. “Hi, Duke,” he said after he released Lexa.

  Dan pushed the brunette away upon hearing Loki’s greetings. He met Lexa’s gaze over the woman’s shoulder, and his heart froze before shattering as the only lady he would ever love turned from him and planted a solid kiss on Duke. Unable to process his agony, needing to either leave or follow through with his fervent desire to punch Duke’s lights out, Dan pivoted and strode towards the bathrooms, leaving the stunned brunette staring at his backside.

  Unaware of the tension or the previous relationship between Lexa and Dan, Loki beamed at Lexa kissing Duke, pleased she found a guy she was willing to date more than twice and kiss in public. His best girl friend deserved to be happy. When they separated, Loki said, “You gotta join us. I’m about to go pick a song for Dan. He lost a bet, and I got the perfect one in mind.”

  Trying hard to tamp down on her green-eyed monster, the one who drove her to behave recklessly, Lexa glanced around and noted Dan disappeared, so too had the three women who were here when they arrived.

  Astonished by the public display of affection, Duke grinned and put his arm around Lexa’s shoulders. She ran hot and cold with him, he never knew quite what to expect, but her spontaneous smooch, boded well. The sex he hoped for last night didn’t happen. The chocolate cookies made her angry, which he chalked up to PMS, but perhaps he would get lucky tonight.

  All Lexa wanted to do was leave, but Loki’s eager eyes caused her to acquiesce. She talked with Boss today, and he indicated the bomb going off at Whitehall Financial continued to trouble Loki. The screams as the hostages caught in the initial fireball still echoed in her head too.

  Stuffing her reaction to witnessing Dan kissing someone else in the back corner of her mind, she smiled at Loki. “Okay.” She turned to Duke. “Back in a minute … ladies’ room. I’ll take a lite beer.” As she pushed her way through the throng of people, she realized she would need a beer or two, or perhaps six, to hang out with Dan and pretend him moving on didn’t bother her.

  Approaching the restrooms, Lexa spotted Dan coming out. Jealously turned her mean, and as she halted in front of him, she sniped, “Lowering your standards to one-night stands with drunk barflies? Guess what we had was lust and not love after all.”

  The backhanded comment stung. At a loss for words, Dan pushed past Lexa. Rage boiled forth to cover his pain as he made his way back to the table. Arriving as Loki returned, the buzzed Italian grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the karaoke stage, laughing as he told him the song choice.

  Not wanting to sing, especially something lighthearted like the purple people eater song Loki selected, Dan crossed his arms. “Not doing it.”

  “Come on. You lost the bet. You gotta sing.” Loki eyed Dan, unsure what caused the change in his mood. Anger rolled off his friend in waves.

  Accepting he couldn’t renege on paying a debt, Dan griped, “Fine! I’ll sing, but my choice.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Loki backed off. Dan’s use of fine set him on edge. He turned and wandered back to their table. Upon arriving, he leaned in close to Ray and spoke in his ear, “Something’s up with Dan.”

  “What?” Ray eyed Loki, noting the concern.

  “Unsure. Like a flip switched. I mean, a switch flipped. He’s mad at something. Anger or hurt, maybe both, flashed in his eyes. Kinda scary.”

  Ray understood why but refused to enlighten Loki since he gave his word to Boss, Jon, and Bram to conceal his knowledge of Dan and Lexa’s forbidden fraternization. Speaking so only Loki could hear, Ray suggested, “Maybe he didn’t like the drunk woman kissing him. You know how private he is with the ladies he dates.”

  “You might be right.” Loki pulled his beer towards him and turned his eyes to the stage when Dan stepped up, wondering what he picked.

  Lexa downed half her beer. She couldn’t believe she spoke so cruelly again. Dan threw her e
motions in a blender, and she spewed crap she didn’t mean. Never had anyone, man or woman, ever screwed with her mind so totally. About to tell Duke she wanted to leave, claiming a headache, she spied Dan on the low stage. She sharply inhaled as Dan belted out the first line of the song before the instrumental opening.

  In a gravelly voice, one altered by Mason’s hands nearly crushing his larynx in the Hummer, and now suited to rock tunes, Dan poured all his hurt and anger into the Bon Jovi tune as he pinned his eyes on Lexa and sang, “Shot through the heart and you’re to blame, darling you give love a bad name.”

  Dan’s gaze never wavered even as he noted the tears welling in Lexa’s hazel eyes. He couldn’t stop himself from lashing out at her. His heart had been stomped on and thrown to the curb, and it was time for her to know she put him through hell … trapped in love’s prison, he would never escape.

  Oblivious to Lexa’s reaction, Loki’s eyes widened as he watched Dan. “Oh man, I bet he ran across his ex on the way back from the bathroom.”

  Lexa bit her lip to stop the sob as tears dripped, her feet stuck to the floor, a part of her realizing she deserved Dan’s vitriol. Their relationship was doomed from the very first kiss in the Grand Citadel bar. The song came to a close, and people reacted to his angsty delivery of the heartbreak song by whistling and clapping. Her heart in tatters, Lexa turned and ran for the exit. I’m exactly like my father. I obliterated Dan’s heart with precision shots. I don’t deserve love.

  Duke caught a flash as Lexa sped away. Confused, having been enthralled by Dan’s performance and not paying attention to her, he drew in a breath and hurried after Lexa wondering what set her off again. I like Lexa a lot, but not her mercurial mood swings. Not sure I can keep up, or if I want to. I don’t recall her being this temperamental in high school or when we went out before.

  Ray sagged on his barstool after observing both Dan and Lexa, drawing on his powers of insight and profiling skills. Oh shit! I misjudged Lexa. They’re both hurting. How the hell am I going to help them?

  Unable to do anything about Lexa at the moment, since she high-tailed it out of the bar, Ray decided to focus on Dan. Though he figured it might be tough to ameliorate their mutual pain without letting the cat out of the bag that he was aware of their previous relationship, he would try his best.

  When Lexa raced out, a dagger pierced Dan’s soul as he realized what he did by allowing his emotions to have free rein. Handing the microphone to the next person, he stepped off the platform. I blew to hell any chance of being friends with Lexa now.

  The repercussions of his action hurt him more than her cruel words outside of the restrooms. Dan hung his head as he shuffled back to the table. The damage is done. Lexa will hate me now. I screw up everything. Nothing will ever be the same. She will never forgive me … excess alcohol makes me stupid.

  He enjoyed himself tonight, right up until Lexa showed up. Dan plastered on a fake smile. “I should be going. Thanks for a fun time.”

  Loki slung his arm around Dan’s shoulders. “Think you need more beer.”

  Ray sidled up to Dan’s other side. “Nope, almost one a.m., time for us three amigos to be moseying on home. Let’s share a cab.”

  Though Loki didn’t want to leave, he studied Ray’s gaze and acquiesced. He gathered up their sombreros before heading out of Muerte por Chiles.

  Appearances Can Be Deceiving

  6

  September 29

  Dan’s Apartment – 2:00 a.m.

  The taxi dropped off Ray and Loki first, and after it came to a stop at Dan’s complex, Dan handed over several bills to pay the driver for his portion before sliding out of the back. As the car left, Dan peered up at the building.

  Wobbling in place, having consumed too much alcohol for the fifth night in a row, he considered curling up in the stairwell to sleep instead of hiking up ten stories. Nope, no can do. With my luck, Jon will find out and read me the riot act. Staggering forward, he pushed open the entrance and didn’t bother to check if the elevator was working. He couldn’t ride in it anyway … Lexa’s memories resided there.

  Somehow, he managed to climb ten flights without falling. After several failed attempts to insert his key, Dan considered kicking in his door, but success at the last moment stayed the destructive action. Entering his dimly lit apartment, Dan shut the door and threw his keys on the counter. He laughed, amazed the keychain didn’t hit any of the half-full food containers or empty beer bottles cluttering the little kitchen island as they slid all the way across and landed on the floor on the other side.

  Silence pervaded his place, leaving Dan open to all the horrible memories, his broken heart, and self-flogging for how he treated Lexa tonight. Music would soothe and help him sort out his emotions, so he weaved his way to the radio, flipped the switch, and sound filled the air. Heading for his swivel chair, the only place he slept, he almost tripped on the clothing articles, beer cans, and pizza boxes strewn around.

  Dan dropped into the leather chair and raked both hands through his hair as he gazed around his messy place. The general would dress me down for the pigsty state of my apartment. But who cares? Certainly not Lexa.

  Attempting, in vain, to quash the anguish that thinking of Lexa produced, Dan focused on the lyrics of Because of You by Kelly Clarkson to distract himself. Instead of calming him, his mind latched on to the message and put his own spin on the meaning.

  Because of you, Lexa, I’m ashamed of my empty life. It’ll always be hollow and colorless without you. You chose the team over me. You said you love me, but you don’t want me, and I’m not worthy. Your words wound me at every turn, yet I still love you, and I’ll never stop.

  I go to work every day to merely gaze upon your beauty, and the briefest touch makes my day. It hurts to accept you’ll never be mine, and I keep hoping for a tiny crumb of your love. If that isn’t fucked up, I’m unsure what is. But I’ll continue doing it because I don’t get to choose my soulmate … and you are my one and only. A Broderick heart loves only once.

  Now, I must standby while you date others. I’m forced to smile and laugh as if I’m okay with you being in someone else’s arms when all I want to do is smash Duke’s face. What the hell kind of name is Duke? He will never cherish and respect you as much as I do. He doesn’t deserve you … you’re too special … you’re my beauty … mine.

  Trust has never been easy for me, but I let you in and shared my vulnerability with you. I entrusted my wounded heart to you, and you shredded it. How can I trust anyone again?

  Wish I had played on the safe side, but I didn’t, and now I’ll live a lonely, dreary life with the knowledge of how beautiful life could’ve been if you only trusted me with your heart and soul.

  Sheer exhaustion, coupled with excessive alcohol, pulled Dan down into the abyss. His unsettling dreams filled with should’ves, would’ves, could’ves, and ghosts of his past.

  Duke’s Apartment – 2:00 a.m.

  “So, you’re going to leave?” Duke stood with his hands fisted, frustration getting the better of his ordinarily unruffled demeanor. Lexa’s constant emotional flip-flops left him spinning.

  “Yes. For the best.” Lexa rose from the couch and glanced around for where she set her purse. She hoped to drown out the hurt by using physical pleasure, but every time Duke tried to move beyond kissing, she reacted by stiffening and pulling away, recoiling at the thought of becoming intimate with him. Their kisses held no spark, no passion, no zing. Her body craved the electricity she felt with only one man … and Duke was not him.

  “Figured it might be too soon. Surprised me when you called about the picnic, but I really like you, so I accepted. You’re not over your ex, are you?”

  Lexa grabbed her handbag and started to leave as Duke’s words hit her in the back. She pivoted. Remorse for wounding another person filled her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

  “So, I’m right?” Duke released his hands, his heart melting, and frustration dissipating as
Lexa’s vulnerability showed for a fraction of a second. He had a crush on her ever since high school, always believed her to be out of his league, and apparently, that remained the case.

  Taking a step towards her, his voice reflected his concern. “He hurt you badly, didn’t he? Geez, Lexa, tell me who this guy is, and I’ll make him rue the day he ripped your heart out.”

  Struggling to remain composed, Lexa inhaled a shuddering breath. “I’m at fault. I crushed his heart … we can’t be together.”

  Duke blinked. “Does this have to do with how your father and brothers treated you? Not all men are callous and hard-hearted. Perhaps it is time you quit painting us all with the same brush. Most guys are decent and kind. This ex of yours, did you push him away like you always do?”

  Her eyes widened as she listened to Duke. “How?”

  “I’m not blind or stupid. Remember, I knew you before everything went to shit. Before your idiot brothers and father turned their backs on you. I never believed any of them capable of doing something so terrible, but here we are. I care about you, Lexa, always have.”

  “I’m leaving.” Lexa turned for the door again, not wanting to have this discussion with Duke.

  “Wait.” He hurried forward as Lexa seized the doorknob.

  Opening the front door, Lexa said, “I’m sorry, Duke, but this isn’t working. I didn’t mean to—”

  “Lexa!” Duke exclaimed, and when she faced him, he sucked in a breath as comprehension hit him full force. “Your ex is your teammate, Dan.”

  Her mouth dropped open, but she didn’t deny Duke’s statement.

  “So many things make sense now. You must’ve been dating Dan when we rescued him from the cave. I chalked up your odd behavior and desire to keep viewing the video feed of him as concern for a teammate … but, yeah, something told me it was more. Yesterday, when I stopped to grab the cookies from Jarmal’s, Dan glared at me, and I couldn’t figure out why.”

  Another realization popped in his head. “And tonight, aw crap, he directed the song at you, and that’s why you stormed out.” Duke reached for her, but she pulled away.