BELONGING: Hope, Truth And Malice (Beauty 0f Life Book 3) Read online

  Tears threatened as anger mixed with pain and Blaze said through a clenched jaw, “I couldn’t look him in the eyes and see the agony I caused him. None of us could. His eyes can be so expressive. We didn’t know what to say to help him, to take away the pain, so we were silent. On the fourth day, we went to the hospital—I’d finally gotten my head together and knew I needed to say something—Blondie was hurting so badly.

  “But when I showed up, he was gone. It took me a day to locate him. They’d moved him to a special location for the duration of the review board inquiry. I—we—all tried to see him, but were denied. The guard said the General ordered that Blondie was to have no visitors.

  “Then he was just gone. We found out that before Blondie left, he was jumped by four soldiers. One of them was the guard that wouldn’t let us see him. I’ve searched for the past year, but he was nowhere to be found. Blondie just disappeared. I worried that he ran—that he …”

  Blaze trailed off not wanting to voice that he’d thought that Blondie had run away and committed suicide. He didn’t want to say it aloud because that would be a betrayal of Blondie’s strength and he didn’t want Jon to get the impression that Blondie was weak—because Blondie was the strongest man Blaze knew.

  Instead he said, “It was all my fault. I gave the order to fire and I failed to talk to him afterwards. I lost him and I can only hope that Blondie can forgive me. It hurts so much to know I failed him like that. I’m no better than the damned General.”

  Jon sucked in a breath. No fucking wonder Dan was standoffish with them or that it took a long time to get to know him. He’d been hurt repeatedly. Bram was right—the shields Dan hid behind had been forged over years.

  He looked at Blaze and said, “You’re only human and humans make mistakes. Dan means a lot to you three, I can tell. Given what little you shared, I can see that you did well protecting him.”

  With regret in his voice, Jon said, “Dan means a lot to us, too. But we also failed him.”

  Blaze looked at Jon questioningly.

  Jon continued, “I won’t lie. We got off to a rocky start with him—we almost lost him, or more correctly, almost drove him away. We—I—let how Dan joined the team color my judgment. We all did. Gambrill just put him on the team. Normally teams select their new members and at the time the standard number for a team was six. The ‘Proper Care and Feeding of Dantastic’ manual is a result of a meeting the six of us had when we recognized our error.

  “It has taken us nine months to build some trust and prove to Dan that we are worthy of him. Yesterday should’ve been a great day. Nick, Bram, and I recognized that Dan truly smiled for the first time during yesterday’s workout. He looked happy and rested, too. So it should’ve been great, but ended up being very bad for him.

  Jon paused and met Blaze eye to eye. “I promise you, we were there for him yesterday and we are here for him now. Dan is safe with us—he’s family and he belongs. We won’t let the General hurt him. We won’t let him fall.”

  Blaze nodded. He could see and accept that. Blondie was safe with this team and they would have his back—that is, if Blondie was really with the TRF and not on some damned black ops mission. Blaze decided to keep the last bit to himself for now since it was just conjecture. He allowed a small smile to cross his face as he remembered what Blondie said just before he started his ‘nap’, as Jon called it—Blondie knew it too.

  He was brought out of his thoughts when Jon stood up and offered a hand to him and said, “You know, it’s weird, but I have this unsettled feeling that I can’t quiet—it’s screaming at me that there’s something more going on here than a crappy father. We’ve been gone quite a while. Ready to go back and see if we can figure it out before it harms Dan?”

  Blaze nodded, grabbed Jon’s hand and rose. “My gut’s been telling me something’s wrong since last night. After hearing about what happened at the hospital last night after we left, I thought that was it. Yet my gut hasn’t shut up at all. I’m happy to take all the help I can get to keep Blondie safe.”

  They headed back inside, both glad they had talked.

  TRF HQ – Dispatch Desk – 10:00 a.m.

  Inspector Davis had arrived just after Jon and Blaze returned and Tia had shown him into the room. She heard him explaining that he was sorry for the delay in getting to TRF. He’d had to deal with another case. When she got back to the dispatch desk, she found a woman waiting and holding two large bags.

  It looked like the team was just about to begin when Tia reappeared at the door. “There’s a woman here with things for Dan. Says she’s a nurse.”

  Patch popped up and went to the desk following Tia. He recognized her from the night before and smiled. “Heather?”

  Heather turned and smiled when she saw who it was. “Hi, Patch, isn’t it?”

  He nodded.

  She lifted the bags and said, “I was at the pharmacy getting something for a friend when I overheard the pharmacy tech trying to figure out how she could get these delivered to TRF HQ sooner than two hours because Dr. Fraser had put a rush on it. Their second delivery driver is out sick and the pharmacy is backed up. I asked her who they were for and she said Dan Broderick. So I offered to bring them over. Why isn’t Dantastic still in the hospital? He’s really not well enough to be out.”

  Patch chuckled. “Blondie hates them. No need to worry. I’ll take good care of him. I’ve got a lot of experience with him.”

  Heather smiled broader. She was drawn to him for some reason. It could be his smile and the sound of his laugh. He had kind brown eyes and she liked his short light brown hair. He was fit too.

  She found herself saying, “Okay, but let me give you my number. I’m off the next three days. If you need help with Dantastic for any reason, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

  Oh lordy, what had she just done? She’d never offered her number to a man before. She blushed as she handed over the bags. Heather turned to leave as quickly as she could before she died of embarrassment.

  Patch stopped her as he asked, “Your number? I mean, just in case I need something for Blondie.” He grinned when she turned to the dispatch desk.

  Heather was very pink now as she asked the woman behind the desk, “Do you have a pen and paper?”

  Tia smiled and handed over a pen and a notepad. She saw the mutual attraction between the two of them. It was so clearly visible on both their faces. Tia wondered just what might come of this chance meeting. She busied herself with nothing in particular as she covertly watched the two of them.

  Heather quickly scribbled down her name and number and ripped off the page. She turned and handed it to Patch and then said, “I gotta go now. Need to take the things to my friend now.” She turned and left quickly, stopping herself from looking back at the attractive paramedic.

  Patch took the note. He looked down at the number. Heather Barkley. He grinned and thought, She’s cute! Might have to keep this number for later use.

  He looked up and watched her until she was out of sight. Then he turned and headed back to the briefing room. Patch went directly to Blondie to start the antibiotics and give him the fever reducer.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  July 16

  TRF HQ – Briefing Room – 10:15 a.m.

  Davis had watched the interplay between everyone in the room. He’d been surprised to find Constable Broderick in the room on a gurney. That man needed to be in the hospital. As he watched, he thought that it was a fascinating dynamic, how Broderick drew people to him.

  He figured this would be interesting. Davis watched the medic hang some medicine and watched Constable McKenna as she bathed Broderick’s face and neck with a cool cloth.

  When Patch finished, Lexa got up and let Patch have the seat next to Dan. She wanted to stay next to him but she couldn’t—it would look odd and she was having trouble enough hiding her need to take care of Dan. She badly wanted to be the one sitting next to Dan, but Lexa moved to her normal seat and tried very hard n
ot to stare at him.

  Dan was waking up slowly and he felt really hot, but then he felt freezing cold—it made no sense. Dan vaguely thought he must be in the desert, but that couldn’t be because he was so cold, but then so hot. He could hear people talking, but everything was muted and muffled and he couldn’t quite make out what was being said. Dan drifted off again, too exhausted to puzzle out why he was hot and cold at the same time.

  Gambrill introduced everyone in the room to Inspector Davis then handed the meeting over to him.

  Inspector Davis began, “Okay, I’ll go at this in three parts, the accident, the suicide and the psychologist.” Then Davis laid out all the facts about the accident that claimed the life of little Sara Broderick.

  They paid attention to everything Davis shared, even though it was hard to listen the tragic details surrounding young Sara’s death.

  Dan was waking again and instinctively moved into stealth mode because he was not quite aware of his location and felt insecure. As his mind started to clear a bit from the fog he took physical stock. He felt a dull throb of pain in his right arm, left wrist, and his face was one big ache. His chest felt constricted and it was uncomfortable to breathe. Overall his pain level was bearable, it just required slow, shallow breaths.

  He felt hot, so hot even as he felt shivery cold. Dan figured that he must have a fever. Crap, he hated infections. As he continued to focus on his body, Dan realized he definitely had an IV in and that confused him—he had left the hospital. Hadn’t he?

  Yes, he had. He gave that poor patrol officer a hard time about needing to leave. He laughed in his head at the shocked face of the patrolman when he’d simply complied after the officer insisted that if Dan was well enough to leave the hospital, he was ordered to TRF headquarters for debrief.

  Dan had been happy to find he was wearing sweats and a t-shirt. It would’ve been a bit embarrassing to show up here in just boxers. He could tell the officer thought he was nuts when he walked out bootless. The officer had offered to help him put on his boots, but he declined needing to get out the hospital quickly—it was closing in around him and made him anxious.

  So, surroundings? He made it into TRF, check. Somewhat comfortable bed? That was odd. He could swear he was in the briefing room because the room had a distinctive feel and light pattern he knew well. Dan decided he was definitely in the briefing room. But on a bed? That was strange.

  Sounds were still muffled and indistinct, but Dan could hear several people in the room. It must be the team. They were all in the briefing room when he arrived. But he had a sense that more than just the team was in the room. Until his hearing cleared he would just remain in stealth mode. Safer that way.

  Next assessment—mental state. Dan thought hard on this for a moment as he reviewed everything that had occurred in the past day. A whole lot of shit happened. He had to take five lives, Aaron was dead, and he’d pulled out painful memories to try to connect and save three men. Two were still alive so that was partially good. He’d saved a little girl. An image of her telling him he was safe soothed him.

  The gang war … Aaron’s crap … fighting Basto … Aaron having his back and saving his ass just as Basto was going to kill him with his own gun … the unexpected subject … Aaron dying … Lexa stroking his hair. Patch?

  Did he hallucinate Patch? He wasn’t so sure. He’d been in so much pain and wanted his brother badly. Patch always knew how to take his pain away. Yeah, he probably hallucinated him. Patch wasn’t here. Patch was still with the unit—he wouldn’t leave Blaze and Winds. But … it had sure felt like Patch was there. Wishful thinking, Dan decided.

  Then there was Donner. He’d spewed his vitriol at him and blamed him for his father’s death. That still confused the hell out of him. Dan thought for a moment he was gonna die when Donner pointed the gun at him—but Donner had turned the gun and blew his brains out right in front of him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

  Dan pushed all that away as he recalled watching Lexa yell at Commander Gambrill. He’d registered the looks from all his teammates that said they wholeheartedly agreed with what she was ranting about. Damn, Lexa was sexy when she was angry. He had to admit she was a little scary too, but definitely sexy.

  So, mental state? Okay, really okay. He still had a lot of things to sort out, but it felt good to belong again. To have family again. He had missed that feeling. He remembered how he felt yesterday morning here with his new chosen family. Yeah, he was okay. He could do anything, handle anything with his brothers and sister around.

  Whoa, no, can’t think of Lexa as a sister … that would be creepy and incestuous—they’d slept together—twice—and he wanted to again. No, definitely not sister. It had to be something different, better, more. His thought from yesterday popped into his head … friends with benefits. Yeah, that would do for now. Sexy Lexie was a friend and they would enjoy the mutual benefit of the attraction they felt. He couldn’t believe he was thinking this way, but he was. Dan just hoped it didn’t blow up in his face.

  When Davis was done with the facts, he pulled out the picture and asked Gambrill if he should share it with the group.

  Walter nodded, but declined to look. He’d seen it before and couldn’t bear to look at it again. He never wanted to see or hear Dan like that again. It had torn his heart out the first time.

  Davis handed it to Nick, whose sharp gasp and distressed expression told the team it was going to be hard to view. The picture silently passed from Nick to Jon, and next to Bram. Then to Ray and then Loki. Each man’s face affected by what he had seen.

  Lexa was the last of Alpha Team to see it and was intently staring at the photo, absorbing the raw pain she saw in Dan’s eyes. She was about to hand it off to Blaze when she looked at the man in the picture. If you looked closely at his face, the man was clearly devastated by the look on Dan’s face. The man’s face was a mirror of Dan’s pain. Briefly, she wondered if it could it be Donner, but Lexa quickly discounted that as her brain said he looked to familiar.

  When she finally handed the picture to Blaze, Lexa asked, “Who is Dan looking at? The man looks just as devastated if not more. He looks familiar, like I should know who he is.”

  The voices started to become distinct. Dan now recognized that it was Lexa speaking. He tried to focus on what she was saying. Dan thought it would be easier if he wasn’t so damned cold. “… if not more,” she finished.

  The guys shook their heads. They hadn’t even really noticed the guy because they were so focused on Dan when they viewed the photo.

  Lexa glanced at Dan as the man’s face merged with Dan’s. No wonder he was familiar. Lexa made the connection just as Blaze spoke.

  “The General,” a dazed Blaze exhaled breathlessly. He didn’t believe what he was seeing. It was devastation … utter devastation on the General’s face. He’d never seen anything but blankness or icy coldness on the man’s face.

  Dan heard someone just say ‘the General’. Crap! They didn’t call him, did they? They wouldn’t do that to him, would they? The General was hard enough to deal with when he was at one hundred percent, but like this? Wait, they could’ve called, but he was in Kandahar now—he wouldn’t come, Dan wouldn’t have to deal with him. Whew!

  Winds snatched the picture from Blaze. Patch quickly stood and peered over his shoulder to see. He didn’t want to wait until it was passed to him. Seeing the total and absolute misery on the General’s face overwhelmed Patch.

  He shouted, “NO FUCKING WAY!” as his legs lost the ability to hold him upright and he crashed with a loud thump down to the floor.

  Blaze’s and Jon’s eyes met from across the table as they silently communicated ‘our guts are right’.

  Dan heard a pissed off or surprised voice say ‘no fucking way’. The voice sounded so familiar. No, it couldn’t be Patch. Could it? He’d only hallucinated him in the ravine. He wanted to chalk up the voice now to his fever—yeah, he must be having an audible hallucination due to the fever. Bu
t part of him dismissed that assessment. It was clearly Patch’s voice—he’d know it anywhere. If it was Patch, what was he doing here?

  He wanted to open his eyes to validate, but he was so drained that they just wouldn’t obey him. So Dan laid there and decided he had to rely on his ears. He was intrigued when a new voice, one he didn’t know, started to speak.

  Davis cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, that’s a hard picture to look at. I’ve viewed many crime scene photos, but this one is by far one of the more painful one I’ve seen. Do you need a moment or can we move on to the suicide?”

  Dan was confused, what suicide? Oh crap, they must be talking about Richard Donner. He steeled himself to listen—glad that no one knew he was awake. He would have a chance to process whatever they said without having to watch their reactions.

  “So, he left an extremely detailed note,” continued Davis.

  “Inspector Davis, hold on a minute. You’re saying there was a suicide note? I never knew that,” Gambrill interjected.

  Dan thought, How could you know, it just happened last night?

  “But you were listed as the investigating officer. How could you not know?” Davis asked.

  “Officially I was listed, but I recused myself immediately after the accident. I couldn’t be objective. Handed the case over to a junior officer—guess they didn’t change the name on the file. I was too wrapped up in grief to follow the details.” Gambrill paused, then asked in a manner that indicated he didn’t really want to know, “So, there is a note. What does it say?”

  Dan was more than confused. This couldn’t be about last night. It just didn’t fit. So what was it about?

  Davis glanced at Constable Broderick as he hesitated a moment. “As I said, it was very detailed. The man was devastated by what he had done to the boy and girl. In the note, he spoke of how the girl was so young and how she deserved to live and the overwhelming guilt he felt for killing her. It went into great length about what he said to the boy at the scene.”