BELONGING: Hope, Truth And Malice (Beauty 0f Life Book 3) Read online

  Lexa handed Dan his helmet. She couldn’t believe she was going to risk her career, everything she had worked for, everything that made her who she was and gave her life purpose for a man. That was beyond her comprehension—yet she didn’t have a choice—the pull was too strong to fight any longer.

  Dan wanted to kiss her again. Instead, he took his helmet and put it on. If he didn’t, then it was highly likely that he’d be pushing Lexa up against the wall and having a quickie in the parking lot of Jarmal’s restaurant—not something he wanted to do with her. Lexa deserved better than that.

  Clenching her keys in her hand as Dan put on his helmet, Lexa said, “You’ll need to park in my garage when we get to my place. Can’t leave your bike visible on the street—too recognizable.”

  Dan tightened the strap on his helmet and reached into his pocket for his keys. “Why? It’s not like anyone from TRF will see.” Seeing the stern look on Lexa’s face he conceded, “Okay, okay, in the garage. I’ll follow you.”

  Nodding, Lexa headed for the driver’s side and got in. As she turned over the ignition, she heard Dan’s Ducati roar to life. This was madness, utter madness. If they got caught they’d get kicked off the team for sure and possibly even fired. Lexa tried to push that thought away as the desire and heat at her core increased. She settled her rational mind by saying, “Just tonight, just tonight—we aren’t dating—just tonight—just one night to get him out of my system for good.”

  The devil on her shoulder smugly smiled. “We’ll see about that.”

  Lexa’s Home – 10:30 p.m.

  The garage door began to close as Dan switched off his motorcycle. The only sound that could be heard was the mechanical rumble and whir of the double-wide garage door rolling into place and sealing out the outside world—leaving Dan and Lexa in a world of their own.

  Lexa watched as Dan removed his helmet, which matched the bright red of his Ducati motorcycle, then as he dismounted with cat-like grace. Dan’s fluid motions always attracted her attention. How did a man that muscular move so gracefully and silently? The image of a panther popped into her head as she looked at the man who was clad in all black. She started at his feet and the soft, black chukka boots—he almost always wore boots of one sort or another. He only wore cross-trainers for workout, but he once said he preferred to run in boots.

  Her eyes moved up his legs which were clad in a pair of tight fitting black jeans. They showed his defined thighs much better than the looser fitting gray cargo pants of their uniform. At his waist was a black belt with an unusual brushed nickel buckle—not that the belt was needed to hold up his jeans—it was more of a fashion statement, or so she’d originally thought. During one dinner four weeks ago, she’d asked him about the unusual buckle and Lexa learned it was function, not fashion, which had him wearing the belt. The buckle contained a small knife—Dan hated being unarmed. Lexa was sure that was a holdover from his soldier days.

  Lexa continued her perusal of Dan in the dim light of the garage. He was wearing a black long-sleeved button-down shirt over a black undershirt. It was reminiscent of their black uniform shirts—minus the patches proclaiming them as constables, their names, and their sniper qualifications. Over the shirt was a black leather jacket—sleek black panther described his clothing and body movements well.

  However, Dan’s coloring was more of a lion. His golden blond hair was slightly mussed from being in the helmet. His jawline showed a hint of his golden stubble since Dan hadn’t shaved since before coming in for today’s five a.m. workout. She liked both the clean-shaven and the more rustic two-day stubble looks Dan sometimes sported. Their eyes met and Lexa was lost to the lust that surged—there was no turning back—the black panther would be devouring her tonight and she would willingly offer her body up.

  Dan slid off his bike and set his helmet on the seat. He shoved his keys in his pocket and he looked over at Lexa as she waited for him by her door. He watched as her eyes raked up his body and finally met his eyes. He could almost feel the heat wafting off her all the way across the garage. Shifting his go bag on his shoulder he started forward. He was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that she had invited him to her place.

  They met at her door and stood inches apart. Both inhaled deeply as Lexa’s hand turned the knob on her kitchen door and pushed it wide open. Dan preceded Lexa into the house and then turned towards her as she entered.

  As the door swung closed, two bodies melded into one—unable to resist any longer. The fire burned hotly as hands roved and lips urgently crushed together. Go bags and keys dropped—discarded and forgotten in the heat that consumed them.

  Dan moved Lexa backwards towards her kitchen island. His vision was sharp in the dark room—vision honed to see in the dark after years of operation in that environment. He lifted her and set her on the counter as his tongue delved in to taste her sweetness. He inhaled the fragrance of jasmine as his fingers carded through her rich, deep, auburn hair. He liked her hair down and loose the way she wore it off shift. The soft natural waves of her hair framed the ivory skin of her face beautifully.

  Lexa kicked off her slip-on sandals as she was set onto the counter. The kissing was fierce, hot, and needy. Her hands moved of their own accord from the back of Dan’s neck to the buttons of his shirt. The desire to feel his skin was overwhelming.

  He was so lost in kissing her that Dan didn’t realize she’d unbuttoned his shirt until Lexa broke their kiss, pushed his arms down, and yanked off his button-down shirt and jacket in one movement. His still tucked in button-down shirt hung behind him from his jeans. Dan pulled the shirt from his jeans and let it fall as Lexa’s fingertips brushed over his abs in his tight-fitting t-shirt on her way to his buckle. When she had difficulty with it, Dan undid it himself.

  Lexa found her hands removed from his buckle as Dan worked it apart himself. She took that opportunity to pull her tank top up and off—letting it fall to the floor. Her hands moved to his jeans button as his hands moved to hers. Dan lifted her slightly, she shifted her hips, shimmied out of her jeans, and Dan finished removing them—letting them drop to the kitchen floor along with the other items. She was sitting on the counter in only her plain, black bra and black panties—the serviceable bland ones she wore at work.

  Dan sucked in a breath as his hands landed on Lexa’s bare shoulders and lightly caressed down her arms as he gazed at her breasts. He’d fantasized about this moment ever since he’d cleaned her kitchen. As he’d wiped down her counter on February 14, he’d fantasized what it would be like to sit her up on this island and caress her. Reality was better than he imagined.

  Lexa tingled where his hands traveled. The electricity shot through her body and made her shiver with anticipation. She reached out with one hand for his cheek—wanting him to lean into her touch like he’d done in the hotel room a year ago. He didn’t disappoint her—his head tilted into her hand. Lexa wished there was more light. She could barely discern his features in the dark kitchen. She pulled him closer and seductively said, “We’ve had dinner … time for dessert. Perhaps we should take this upstairs …”

  That was all the invitation Dan needed. He leaned down and captured her mouth again as his arms lifted her. Lexa’s legs wrapped around his waist as he backed away from the island. He continued to kiss her as he made his way through her kitchen and to the stairs. He knew where he was going—thanks to his recon the night he brought her home and carried her upstairs when her ankle was sprained.

  Lexa was fully engaged in the kisses—she couldn’t get enough of him. She barely registered that Dan was carrying her up the stairs and to her bedroom. The world refocused as she felt the smooth, cool comforter underneath her when Dan set her down on her bed. Her lips felt cold and bereft as Dan pulled back and stood up.

  Her eyes sought him out in the pitch black of her room. Her blackout window shade was lowered—a necessity for sleeping during days when they had the night shift. Lexa saw Dan’s silhouette made from the dim hallway li
ght behind him. She watched as his shadow figure gasped his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, ruffling his hair. Lexa wished there was enough light to see his perfect abs. Then she wondered what he was doing as his hand moved to his back. Then she saw a small square and realized he’d withdrawn his wallet.

  Dan grinned as he pulled out protection and said, “I’m prepared this time.” He shoved his wallet back into his pocket and proceeded to strip off the rest of his clothing. He gave nary a thought to his scars—it was pitch black, and unless Lexa had the vision of a cat, she would never see them.

  As Dan crawled over top of her and their skin touched, Lexa’s core melted. Lava flowed in her veins. Her hands roved over Dan’s muscular shoulders and down his taut biceps as he held himself aloft so he didn’t crush her. Their lips connected again and fiery sparks cascaded behind her eyes.

  Lexa wasn’t cognizant of when he removed the remainder of her clothing, but the warmth of his hand closing over her naked breast hitched her breath and caused her to moan and arch up into the hand. Dan’s skillful hands artfully teased and pleasured her—driving her to the edge—driving her to the point that she needed to feel him, all of him.

  Never breaking the connection of their lips, Lexa managed to maneuver herself on top of him. She located the tiny foil package, opened it, and applied it deftly to Dan’s erection. Lexa closed her eyes and sighed as she took him in. She rocked slowly at first, adjusting to his ample size—he filled her completely. The rhythm increased as she set the pace and he followed.

  Dan groaned in ecstasy as their pace increased. He couldn’t help but run his hands over her quivering skin. It was so smooth and soft. He stopped his hands at her hips and moved her faster.

  She was close, so very close, as they moved in a frenzied pace. She placed her hands on his shoulders and her short, manicured nails dug into his skin. She screamed out, “Daaaaaan,” as her release exploded sending a shower of stars coursing through her body.

  Dan gripped Lexa’s hips and thrust several more times as he felt Lexa’s release pulsing. He reached his release and moaned out in a deep, guttural tone, “Lexaaaaaaa.”

  Lexa collapsed onto Dan’s chest, her breathing coming in short pants as she floated down from the mountain. Her ear rested over Dan’s heart and she could feel it beating rapidly. She could hear his breaths that were in sync with her own ragged breathing. The air in and out of their lungs was the only sound in their private world as Dan’s arms wrapped around Lexa and held her in place on top of him.

  Most thought was beyond Dan, the only thing he knew for certain was that he could describe his feelings now. Lexa in his arms, felt so right, so perfect. No matter that the TRF rules said it was wrong and they could be fired over this—it wasn’t wrong—it was so right. He’d do it again—risk all—just to be with her.

  As the fires of lust calmed and banked, Lexa’s mind whirled as she contemplated the ramifications of what she’d done—she’d given in to lust and it could ruin her. Did she really just do this? Was this just another one-night stand to quell the lust that she felt whenever she was close to Dan? Could this one night be enough to keep those feelings at bay? Or was she doomed to fall for a man that would ultimately discard her like her father and brothers had?

  Lexa slipped off into an uneasy sleep—exhausted from their long day—as her mind tried to resolve her internal conflict. No decision was made as sleep claimed her.

  Dan held Lexa and gently caressed her back as he heard the soft, regular pattern of breaths that indicated Lexa had fallen asleep. They hadn’t shared a word afterwards. Each had been lost in their own thoughts. Dan now wondered why Lexa had taken this risk with him. He pondered that thought for a long time as he continued lightly running his fingers over her soft, smooth body. He drifted off to sleep without finding an answer to his question.

  Chapter Three

  July 15

  Dan’s Apartment – 4:55 a.m.

  Dan raced into his apartment. He was late and he was gonna catch hell from Jon. He wondered if Lexa had made it in on time. He’d woken with a start, glanced at Lexa’s clock, and promptly panicked this morning.

  He’d slept straight through without a single nightmare waking him—just like the last time he’d slept with Lexa. But one glance at the clock had him out of bed, pulling on his t-shirt and pants, then calling out to Lexa that they had overslept. The surprise in Lexa’s eyes when they opened was priceless. Dan couldn’t remember a single time that Lexa had been late to workout in the past year. She was up as fast as him and pulling on undergarments.

  He’d given her one quick kiss on the cheek and a lopsided grin before he dashed downstairs. He shoved his feet into his boots, sans socks, then shoved his socks and button-down shirt into his go bag. He was shrugging into his jacket as he heard Lexa call out to him that he’d better not be late or Jon would read him the riot act.

  As he had raced for TRF headquarters, Dan realized that he needed to get a clean uniform from his apartment. He was gonna be late—there was no two ways about it. So after shoving his clean uniform into his go bag and changing his shirt he decided to brush his teeth quickly. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. With a mouth full of toothpaste, Dan answered with a muddled, “Broderick.”

  As her eyes scanned the kitchen floor for the fifth time, Dan answered his phone and Lexa blurted out, “Do you have my keys?”

  Spitting out toothpaste, Dan replied, “Keys?”

  “I can’t find them anywhere. I know I had them when we entered my kitchen. I searched the floor and my go bag. Did they fall into your bag?”

  Dan scooped a handful of water into his mouth and swished—a short brushing was better than none. He spat out the water then answered, “I don’t think so—it was zipped last night. Let me check.”

  Lexa paced in her kitchen, trying to remember where her second set of keys were. She’d moved everything around while she was remodeling. Her mind was also whirring on how to explain that both she and Dan were late on the same day. Would anything show in their demeanor? Would yesterday be the last day of her career with TRF?

  Dan rummaged through his bag and his hand landed on a set of keys. He groaned. “Sorry, Lexa. I have your keys. I must’ve picked them up by accident when I shoved my shirt and socks in.”

  Lexa echoed his groan. “Are you going to be on time?”

  “No. I had to stop at my apartment for a clean uniform.” Dan gripped the keys as he thought that it was bad, both of them being late on the same day. His mind sought a semi-truthful deflection they could use and he said, “We could tell the Boss that you had trouble starting your Jeep and called me to pick you up.”

  Fearing something might give them away if they arrived together, Lexa responded, “Arriving together would be bad, really bad. No. No that won’t work. The Boss sees things and might see what we don’t want anyone to know. I’m not about to commit career suicide today. I’ll find my second set of keys and then head in.”

  Dan nodded even though Lexa couldn’t see him. She had a point. The Boss did see things that no one else did. Now that he’d opened up a bit to the team and let them see behind his shields, Dan found it harder to hide certain things. “Okay, sooooo … I’ll just give you your keys sometime today then?” He grinned. “Maybe we can have dinner after shift again?”

  Lexa growled. “I don’t know … we’ll see. Dan … I’m not so sure that we … that this … I don’t know if I can do … we’re friends, colleagues … I shouldn’t have … we—”

  Hearing Lexa struggle to complete a sentence, Dan knew she was rattled this morning. Dan quickly interrupted, “Hey, it was just dinner … a burger and a beer. We have to eat. We can talk … just talk. You know … just friends talking. Maybe friends with benefits … not that anyone else needs to know about the benefits.”

  Lexa grinned despite how conflicted she was feeling—friends with benefits—could that be possible? Getting herself under control, Lexa stated, “I’ll see you at workout.
Come up with a good excuse for being late or Jon will work your ass off and probably make you count ammo for the next three months.” Then Lexa hung up and began to search earnestly for her second set of keys as her mind whirled on the friends with benefits concept.

  Dan laughed as he hung up, shoved Lexa’s keys into his go bag, zipped it up and slung it over his shoulder, then quickly headed out of his apartment. He had to come up with an excuse that was partially true—he hated lying. He could and had done it for missions, but in his personal life he preferred the truth, even if it was only a partial truth. Lies could destroy relationships and he had no desire to destroy his relationships with Lexa, Bram, Loki, Ray, Jon, and the Boss. His chosen family was too important to him to lose them over a lie.

  TRF HQ – Gym – 5:20 a.m.

  “Hey Dano, you’re late,” Jonathan Hardy, Alpha Team Tactical Lead, called out as Dan walked into the gym. Jon wiped the sweat from his bald head as he tracked the rookie across the gym. Something was different about the rookie this morning. He narrowed his gray eyes as he assessed Dan closely.

  “Morning, Jon, Bram, Boss,” Dan replied with a solid smile as he walked to the heavy bag while taping up his hands. “Sorry, Boss, won’t happen again. I fell asleep without setting my alarm and overslept.” It was the truth, he hadn’t set his alarm, although they didn’t need to know that was because he wasn’t at his place … and he had overslept.

  Jon, Bram, and Nick all shared a quick glance with one another. Dan was smiling. He was late, which was out of character, and he had a real smile on his face. They wondered what was up with that.